Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize