Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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