Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
