For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
