btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
