We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
