just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize