you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
