What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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