I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
