some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
