apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
drinking out of a sandbucket again
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
