There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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