its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
