Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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