Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
