I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
so let's talk penis.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
