I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
