Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
