did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
