i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
