Yo dont text me then not text me
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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