she kept yelling 'call me bella'
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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