I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
