how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
