I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
