maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
