WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
