if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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