Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
