Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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