I wish I could punch you in the face.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
