Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
