PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
