the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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