you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
