Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
