Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
