He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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