I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
