Michael Bay diarrhea
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Still dying that you shit outside
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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