apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
