I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
