So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
