So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
