So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
