i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
there was a trapeze. enough said
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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