I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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