he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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