Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
