so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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