Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
