pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
