It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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