How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
