can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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