I hope mine doesn't look like that
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
