I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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