i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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