no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Be still, my beating vagina.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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