I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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