Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize